Motivation and emotion/Book/2025/Self-disclosure motivation

Imagine this ... It is late in the afternoon, and Mia is sitting on a crowded bus after a long day at university. A stranger sits next to her, and within minutes, they are deep in conversations By the time Mia reaches her stop, she has shared details about her recent breakup, her struggles with balancing study and work, and even her fear of failing her degree. When she steps off the bus, walks for three mins finds herself sitting in a field of flowers. Mia feels a rush of relief—it’s as if a weight has been lifted just by speaking the words aloud (see Figure 1). Why did Mia feel comfortable enough to open up? Was it the anonymity of the stranger. the relief of being listened to, or the emotional weight she had been carrying all day?

This moment illustrates the power of self-disclosure: sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences with others. Disclosure is not only a personal act but also a deeply social one. People reveal themselves to seek comfort, build trust, or even manage impressions in relationships. Self-disclosure can bring closeness and support, but it also carries risk-being judged, rejected or misunderstood. This chapter explores the motivations behind such moment of self-disclosure and the psychological, social and situational factors that drive people to share personal information with others.

• Self-disclosure is a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative, and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites (wikipedia description).

Self-disclosure is a fundamental process that contributes to the development, maintenance and deepening of close relationships. The motivation to disclose stems partly from the human need to form and maintain enduring, positive, and meaningful relationships, satisfying a basic drive for belonging within both intimate dyads and broader social groups such as families, workplaces, and cultural communities (Rimé, 2016). The nature of disclosure can range from superficial exchanges to highly intimate revelations, depending on the depth of the relationship and the context of communication (Rimé, 2016). Altman and Taylor’s (1973) Social Penetration Theory explains that disclosure is a central mechanism through which individuals transition from acquaintances to close relational partners. At a surface level, disclosure may involve relatively inconsequential topics such as food preferences, daily activities, or recent events. However, it can also extend to highly personal and sensitive information, such as fears, religious convictions, or potentially stigmatizing experiences including abortion, sexual orientation, or illness (Rimé, 2016).

• Social Penetration theory

• trust and relationship satisfaction
• vulnerability and regret
• oversharing and privacy risks

• self-disclosure in therapy and support groups
• social media
• impacts on mental health and wellbeing

Evolutionary

From an evolutionary perspective, self-disclosure is considered both a valuable and controversial intervention within the therapeutic process because it engages and supports interpersonal motivational systems; attachment, caregiving, ranking and sexual system central to human survival and bonding, key drives identified by the Evolutionary Theory of Motivation (ETM). Approximately 90% of therapists report using self-disclosure, which generally involves sharing personal information with patients. Patients tend to respond more positively to therapists who employ disclosure in a balanced way, as this activates affiliative motives, strengthens trust, and reduces anxiety by signalling warmth and authenticity. Monticelli et al. (2022), introduces motivational monitoring to evaluate how therapist and client motivational systems interact during clinical sessions. Research conducted by Simonds and Spokes (2017)^[1] found that in patients with eating disorders, therapists self-disclosure helped regulate the social emotion of shame and encouraged disclosure, enhancing therapeutic relationship and improving treatment outcomes. ETM highlighted that such outcomes reflect evolved needs for affiliation and emotional regulation, showing how self-disclosure can help restore therapeutic bond when it is threatened by patient withdrawal or criticism. Monticelli et al. (2022) caution that disclosure must remain patient-focused; when driven by the therapist’s needs, it risks undermining the alliance and shifting attention away from the patient’s adaptive goals. ETM emphasizes ongoing monitoring of interpersonal motivational systems—both in transcripts and in real time—to ensure that disclosure interventions remain aligned with evolved mechanisms for connection, trust, and healing.

Biological

Biological perspectives highlight self-disclosure as an intrinsically rewarding behaviour supported by neural reward systems. Tamir and Mitchell (2012), found in their study that individuals are often willing to forgo monetary rewards to disclose information about themselves, suggesting that disclosure has inherent subjective value comparable to primary rewards such as food or sex. Their neuroimaging findings revealed strong activation in the mesolimbic dopamine system, including the nucleus accumbens and ventral tegmental area, during acts of self-disclosure. This system, which is typically engaged by primary rewards and secondary reinforcers, also responds to social rewards such as agreement, humour, and attraction. Interestingly, both components of self-disclosure—the act of self-reflection and the act of communicating one’s thoughts to others—elicited reward-related neural activity, with effects magnified when disclosures were shared interpersonally. Participants consistently chose options where they could disclose information about themselves even when it meant earning less money. These results support the hypothesis that humans possess a species-specific motivation to broadcast their beliefs and knowledge, a tendency that may confer adaptive advantages by strengthening social bonds, eliciting feedback, and enhancing collective learning. Thus, from a biological standpoint, disclosure is motivated by evolved reward mechanisms that sustain the cooperative and highly social nature of human groups. (Tamir & Mitchell, 2012).

Social Cognitive

From a social cognitive perspective, self-disclosure is shaped by reinforcement dynamics: when individuals receive positive feedback in response to sharing personal information, they are motivated to disclose more deeply over time (Baack, Fogliasso, & Harris, 2000). Disclosure is not random but is influenced by three key factors: personal characteristics, reward–cost assessments, and situational context. People disclose peripheral aspects of themselves more readily, while the innermost “core” of personality—encompassing self-concept, values, and vulnerabilities—is reserved for those with whom trust has been established. Social Penetration Theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973) describes this process as gradual, moving through “layers” of the self, much like peeling an onion. Early stages of relationships involve rapid exchange of surface-level information, but progress slows as disclosure moves toward central values and self-defining traits, which carry higher risks of rejection. Whether this deeper penetration occurs depends on the balance of rewards and costs: when both partners perceive benefits as outweighing risks, disclosure accelerates, intimacy deepens, and individuals are more willing to reveal sensitive aspects of their identities. Conversely, when perceived costs outweigh rewards, disclosure stalls, and relational growth is limited (Baack, Fogliasso, & Harris, 2000). Self-disclosure is seen as an indicator of the level of sincerity of expression and the level of trust and love in bilateral relations (Arslan, 2021).

Gender differences in self-disclosure have long been debated, research on gender and self-disclosure shows that men and women differ not simply in how much they share, but in the types of experiences they are willing to discuss through meta-analyses. Recent work by Carbone et al. (2024) provides clearer evidence by examining not only disclosure behaviour but also the psychological desire to disclose. Across three studies, they found a robust interaction between gender and information valence: men and women were equally likely to want to share positive information, but men were significantly less inclined than women to disclose negative experiences. Importantly, the research also highlighted different underlying motivations, with men more likely to disclose as a means of self-enhancement and image management, while women more often disclosed to seek comfort and social support. These findings suggest that gender differences in disclosure cannot be reduced to overall frequency but instead depend on the type of information shared and the social functions disclosure serves (Carbone et al., 2024).

Quiz

Self-disclosure is a multifaceted process motivated by psychological, social, and biological factors that both enrich and complicate human relationships. It can strengthen intimacy, foster trust, and enhance well-being, yet it also carries risks such as vulnerability, regret, and privacy loss. Evolutionary and biological perspectives emphasize disclosure as rooted in adaptive survival needs and neural reward mechanisms, while social cognitive approaches and Social Penetration Theory highlight reinforcement dynamics, reward–cost assessments, and the gradual movement from superficial to intimate layers of the self. Individual differences, including personality traits and gender, further shape the motivations and patterns of disclosure, demonstrating that disclosure is not uniform but context-dependent.

In applied contexts, disclosure plays a critical role in therapeutic settings, interpersonal relationships, and digital communication. In therapy, balanced disclosure by both clients and clinicians can regulate emotions, strengthen alliances, and improve outcomes. In everyday relationships, disclosure maintains trust and provides emotional relief, while in digital environments it offers opportunities for connection alongside heightened risks to privacy and authenticity. Ultimately, the motivation to disclose reflects enduring human needs for belonging, authenticity, and emotional regulation, illustrating why people continue to share personal information even when potential costs are apparent.

Research on self-disclosure motivation remains limited in several ways. Much of the existing evidence relies on self-report data, which may not accurately capture the depth or context of disclosure. Cross-cultural studies are still underdeveloped, leaving open questions about how cultural norms influence disclosure practices and motivations.

• Social Penetration Theory

1. ↑ "Therapist self-disclosure and the therapeutic alliance in the treatment of eating problems".